Circle, Wave, Line

This week's formatting is gonna be a true test of my determination to keep up writing here. I'm sure the second true test will be when I have a regular job, but this is kind of regarding that...

See, writing's a funny thing. I want a job writing, because that's the Ideal. I specifically want a job writing my own stories at set deadlines for publishers who want to put my works out into the world. Whenever I mention this to people, I get this great reaction so consistently that I can paint you a mental picture of it off the top of my head...

Eyes squint at the corners. Nostrils flare ever so slightly. Lips pinch at the sides, with the centers separated ever so slightly. Eyebrows both raise and swoop up above the brow line to make a surprised skateboard ramp. Cheeks get sucked in just a little. It's a look of pity, enhanced with the sense that this person has been suddenly saddled with the sole responsibility of crushing my spirit and forcing me to accept the realities of the world. It's their job to bring me down. Oh sweetie, you know that's not a realistic way to think, right? 

I'm the one that must exhaust energy, every time, that must reassure my audience that yes, I do realize the chances of my works being published regularly enough to be my career is slim, and yes, I don't expect to only write for the rest of my days, and of course I'll be getting another job, this is just a hobby, I can do it in my free time, look at me I'm Well Adjusted and Sensible, Thank God. Writing's a funny thing because I see it in three forms right now, and this exact exchange above keeps it in the first form. This writing is a circle. It's how corporate America the real world sees my aspirations. They aren't immediately profitable, they hold no guarantees of success. It's scary, it's tough, it's not a real job. The circle is Write => Enjoy Writing => Express Joy in Writing => Experience Intimidation by "Realists" => Write Less => Find Inspiration => Write, and so on. That circle can loop over and over again until death separates me from my writing implements, if I let it.

The second form is a wave. This is where I'm at now, or at least working to face. So I'm on the job hunt, having opted to strike a balance between my ideals and the call for realism about gainful employment. I was recently given the instruction to seek out avenues in which I get to write, either as a member of a team or as my own separate author, where I'm not just generating my own stories but rather ones I'm given instructions and guidelines for. This includes anthology entries, short stories for magazines, or scripts and concepts for video games, just to name a few. After I Googled 'How To Become A Story Writer For Video Games' did a little bit of research, it became apparent to me once again that while this gets me on the road to success, it will take far more self motivation than I have right now. A job in writing where you're not just generating the stories you want to tell still leaves you writing as a hobby, to fill in those gaps of creativity. So I'd have the writing I get paid for at the crest of the wave and the writing I do to fulfill my own needs at the trough of the wave. I'm still moving forward, I'm still generating content, but the energy I have will mostly be going into the writing I get paid for because that's just, like, my job, man. And the work I have actual passion for removed from all outside sources of encouragement suffers accordingly.

In case the title didn't make it completely obvious yet, the final form is line. This, my friends, is the Ideal. The Preferred Authorial Life. It progresses forward, new content created at my own will. I have inspiration, I act on it. I tell the stories I want to tell, and I'm paid comfortably for it. A crazy concept, wanting to be paid to do what you love. It's consistent, it's steady, and it holds the promise of ultimate satisfaction on my end. I want to get here, but I know (yes I DO KNOW, okay, you can all stop worrying) it's gonna take some riding the wave to get there. Got to create a depth of field, need to show competence and success (see: get published). It gets that feeling all jobs have, where you can't get a job unless you have experience but you can't get experience unless you have a job...

So while I apply, generating content here that I'm proud of certainly doesn't hurt.

Bruce Wayne for Fictional Characters: Pt. 3

Time to wrap this up, this is the pay-off. Brace yourselves...

The writer hat is on for this, because this is why I loved Sansa from day one - she's got the perfect set-up for a redemption arc. Most of House Stark does; all of the surviving family members do actually! But what makes Sansa different from Arya or Jon Snow is she isn't a brawling fighter. She's a well-spoken, studied individual with a family name to give her respect and loyal followers. Arya and Jon are smart, but Sansa's become a quick study of people. And she's KIND. To bring on her wrath, you know you've earned it. 

And as Sansa sits by, in theory a captive in the capital of the country, she's watching and learning. She becomes a student of her enemies, who held her close. She plays up her unassuming stature, remaining quiet and demure, letting them believe her a fool. Once a clear way of escape is presented, with a secure place to run to and people she could predict and work with, she seizes the chance eagerly. She uses character's creepy adoration of her to her advantage. She learns manipulation and strategic lying. Slowly, she amasses power. 

At no point does she hurtle ahead, or make brash decisions. She's methodical, she's calculating. Sansa Stark is a long burning vengeance. You wanna talk about dragons...

Now we're up to the prior season and most recent season of the show, which has deviated in some truly abysmal significant ways from the books. Sansa's still being visibly used as a pawn. Her obsessive caretaker gifts her to the family that currently controls the north, allowing the marriage of Sansa and this guy Ramsay Bolton, who is a grade-A trash person composed of bile and scum. Please note, the books don't do this to Sansa - she remains in the care of the guy who sees her as a prettier version of her deceased mother. It's not ideal, but at least it avoids her being raped by her now-husband, as the show permits. 

I am of the opinion that rape is an unnecessary trauma for Sansa or any character for that matter to undergo as a means to spark her character development. Especially with the excess in which rape occurs within the series for ~gritty realism~ (again, it's a fictional story, in a fantasy world, loosely based on medieval Europe - it's hardly accurate to anything), it was made clear to be unnecessary for Sansa's arc in the books. The show does give satisfaction in that it has Sansa enable the brutal murder of Ramsay, but that whole scenario could have been easily avoided. 

In either piece of media now, we have Sansa Stark, older, wiser, and ready to take back her home from the people who betrayed her and her family. She's kicking ass and taking names. And now the audience likes her! See, look at her, she's suddenly doing something! She's not useless, she's not just sitting there! 

Ah, no... See you forgot, friend, Sansa's my child. You don't get to have her. I'm Bruce Wayne, and I adopted Sansa when she was still becoming who she is now. You didn't accept her at her worst, so now you don't get to have her at her best. And that's according to the rules. That I just made up. 

So take this opportunity in the future, because I know you, this hypothetical embodiment of hatred for a little girl, you didn't do it out of malevolence. No! You simply preferred more action-based characters, or ones that were able to enact their wit early on thanks to their positions of power. I can't fault you for that, friend. The final point of this is to, maybe, encourage you to have a keener eye when looking at characters in the future. Maybe they look like not much now, but watch what they do and don't do. Take note of the situations they are in, and how they act towards the characters around them. You, too, may take notice of a character who will develop into so much more than they seem. 

Then maybe I can cut back on the number of fictional characters I adopt as my children.

Bruce Wayne for Fictional Characters: Pt. 2

Now where was I? Ah, yes, Sansa Stark.

Much like Bruce Wayne, I have a large number of adopted fictional children under my perceived care. Unlike Master Wayne, I don't host them in my mansion and take them out on field trips to clean up the crime-laden streets of Gotham. I can't do that. They aren't real. Duh. 
¯\_(ツ)_/¯ And while there are also many of them, I'm going to narrow it down to one character that exemplifies a few important characteristics I'm touching on. So, let me introduce you to my child Sansa.

(For Clarification: I don't actually host delusions in which the fictional character Sansa Stark is my literal child. This is a way for me to convey my deep caring for abandoned and mistreated characters. I'm decently grounded in reality, for the most part.)

For those unfamiliar, Sansa is a character in George R. R. Martin's brutal high fantasy series A Song of Ice and Fire, and the corresponding television show named after the first book in the series, Game of Thrones. Sansa's the eldest daughter of Ned and Catelyn Stark, a noble family of the northern stretches of Westeros that suffers greatly at the hands of families in higher seats of power. If this is a new series, or you're a little behind, fair warning - there are definitely going to be SPOILERS beyond this point. If you don't mind that and are unfamiliar with the story thus far, I will do my best to make the pertinent parts understandable. I'm trying to prove a point here, after all!

To start off the series in both its forms, we see Sansa as a young girl with dreams of fine ballgowns and happy marriages. Very early on she is groomed to become the future queen of Westeros by marrying the eldest son of the royal family, Joffery Baratheon. She has many practical skills of a lady in her social standing. Unlike her younger sister Arya, who's scrappy and looking to learn proper swordsmanship, Sansa is a student of more scholarly subjects, a deep reader, deft with a needle, refined in manners, but a little naive to the true workings of the world. She is simultaneously unfortunate and lucky to be raised in a happy family with strong moral values. All of the kids were, actually. The harshness of cruel and traitorous people has yet to truly hit them. 

Turns out the royal family is far from wise and fair. The king, Robert, is killed through his vices as facilitated by his own wife Queen Cersei, who's mothered all of the royal children with her twin brother Jaime. Sansa's promised marriage to Joffery is less than ideal, because he's a sick, twisted sadist who has Sansa's father beheaded in front of her and declares war on her family and the north. Arya vanishes to complete her own quests and is presumed dead by most characters, including her sister. Sansa's bastard brother Jon Snow is up north with the Watch, her elder brother Robb and her mother are murdered by allies. Her two younger brothers are taken captive and their deaths faked. As far as Sansa knows, she is alone in the world, with her future ripped away. Held captive among people she cannot trust, who emotionally and mentally abuse her, seeing her only as a weak and naive pawn to be wed off for her family name.

And that's how the audience saw her too. Young, weak, naive. Sansa didn't have any physical strengths - she didn't learn any form of combat, unlike Arya. She didn't constantly make escape attempts, so she was seen as stupid. The venom towards Sansa I witnessed when watching the show with friends was startling. They would ask, why doesn't she just leave? Why doesn't she fight back?

First of all, how dare you. Second of all, in a world that touts itself as 'realistic fantasy' loosely based on the incredibly narrow scope of medieval Europe, with its realistic characters and realistic scenarios don't mind the dragons and ice zombies, people still have the gall to balk at a young noble girl with no combat training and nobody to turn to in the outside world dare to stay and endure the abuse, biding her time? Kindly step off. You don't have to adore her for lying in wait, but consider why your opinions are those of active hate rather than worry or concern. Third of all HOW DARE YOU.

Now that I have the basic constructs for Sansa set up, I'll kindly direct you to tomorrow's post for the grand finale!

Bruce Wayne for Fictional Characters

I really like Batman. Like most comic book characters, his morality, the various aspects of his personality, and where he's at in his multitude of story arcs, are susceptible to change depending on who's writing him. So, to speak of Batman/Bruce Wayne as a favorite character requires a certain way of looking at him. I present to you, in concept alone, the Batman pie. It's got an Oreo cookie crust and a dark chocolate fudge-y filling layered with a rich ganache, but there's a dollop of fresh whipped cream on top with some curled chocolate shavings that lighten the whole thing so you don't just overdose on chocolate. The slice of Bruceman Batwayne Bruce Wayne's character pie I enjoy the most is the one with the most whipped cream on it, so I can get a taste of that delicate sweetness in with each gooey chocolate bite. For Batman in-story, that whipped cream can be seen as his sidekicks.

Yes, that's right - I love me some BatFamily. The string of scrappy orphans Bruce Wayne takes under his wing in hopes of educating, protecting, and guiding in the ways of fighting crime is a decently lengthy one. Not that it's a competition that anyone's trying to win, but Bruce is definitely Winning At Mentees. Robin is more of a title than a person, being borne first by Dick Grayson, then Jason Todd, followed by Tim Drake... In there's Stephanie Brown, honorable mention to Carrie Kelley... Damian Wayne... And then Stephanie goes on to be Batgirl, but that's after Barbara Gordon's moved on from Batgirl to being Oracle. For those of you who were unfamiliar until this moment, Batman has a terrible habit of collecting children and making them part of his crime-fighting family, with poor butler Alfred Pennyworth as the ever-tolerant uncle of sorts. It's to the point where looking back along the Batman archives, Bruce Wayne has a bit of a problem.

Stop Bruce From Adopting Kids 2k16. Never Stop Bruce From Adopting Kids 2k16.

I think this is my favorite aspect of Batman for primarily two reasons:

1) This is Nice Guy!Bruce. Popular media (see: the Christopher Nolan movies) likes to portray this rough, gravely and grizzled side of Batman. He's dark! He's tortured! Everyone he loves, dies! Drink in the man-pain, we have it in bucketloads!!! I hate this aspect of Batman. He's tortured and dark, and he can be haunted by his past, but that does not a character make. I don my writer hat for this, but what makes Bruce Wayne/Batman an interesting character is what he does in SPITE of his grimdark history. One of these things is adopting and making a family of orphans. They have a family with him, and he in turn finds a family for himself with them (c'mon, you can't get more poetic than that). It's freakin' precious. It's the whipped cream.

2) I catch myself doing the very same thing to fictional characters in popular media around me, and therefore respect it in a wealthy millionaire in a onesie who can't stop building his army of small children. Wow that sounds awful when worded that way OH WELL! Characters who get hated on for not meeting the standards of tough or bad-ass, characters who have shown weakness or been taken advantage of by those in positions of power - these are the characters I want to collect into my arms protectively. These children done wrong by their writers or by their audiences are mine now. You ungrateful tasteless fools, you didn't accept these characters in their weakest moments, so you don't deserve them when they're at their best! They're my kids, and I will teach them the ways of vigilante justice and you don't get to see them kick all the bad guys' butts after all of their hard-earned character development. Never speak to me and my many fictional children again.

Maybe the second reason has a little bit more to it? Well I guess that's the topic of tomorrow's entry. I'm sure many of you are familiar with my sweet child Sansa Stark...

How To Be A Better Dragon

So who's all ready for the first blog post here!? I know I am! I'm pumped, totally prepared for it to be the absolute worst piece of media to grace this barely birthed blog. 

How could it not be? I'm a twenty-four-year-old aspiring writer with three separate stories nearing completion and a speckling of short stories, all of which I keep to myself as a dragon would, curled up greedily atop its hoard of shimmering gems and coins kept hidden from the world. What use does a dragon have with such valuables, beyond admiring and sifting through the wealth. A dragon wants for nothing but more shiny baubles. It doesn't exactly need to pay rent for it's lavish mountaintop cave (in the respectable part of the range, vaulted ceilings, excellent view...), and food's hardly an issue when laying waste to the neighboring farmlands has very few repercussions. Dragons are famous for their lack of moral quandaries, after all.

I, unlike the dragon, benefit most from sharing my acquired wealth in story form. Ideally with as many people as humanly possible. I've heard tell that with diligence, a unique authorial voice, and awareness of tired tropes, I could even be paid in the form of livable wages to continue creating little paper worlds out of paragraphs and tiny chapter sketches! What a dream! 

Yet here I am, without any shared works outside of school. 

And a new blog.

I definitely have a comfort zone in need of expanding, for sure. The fear of completion is one I've witnessed to be common among artists of all varieties. One more layer, one final stroke, an adjustment of the outline here, a tweak in the wording there... If this piece I have begun to create sits in my hands, in this delightful limbo of "nearly done" then it hypothetically could be perfection once done! My skills are only ever improving. If I finish now, it won't be the best piece it could be. What a waste of potential, right? So much energy, so many resources, the thought and time put in, all for a stepping stone towards the magnum opus. 

The revelation here is that's a dangerous mind game to play. I can do better. You can do better. Maybe the dragon sat on its hoard because once it had gathered that multitude of wealth, it didn't know what to do with it but take a smokey nap on the pile. Dragons are actually not very famous for their levels of creativity. It could've been the Great Communism Dragon, redistributing wealth evenly across the peasants of the realm, or it could have established a standard barter system with the local farmers for the freshest cattle and fluffiest sheep. A cuddly sheep hoard seems preferable to lumps of jewels and gold, but that may be because I'm a notoriously bad dragon. So I'm making an effort here. This is the start of the sharing of my hoard, my wealth. I'm trying to be a better dragon here. I would not be the person I am today if my favorite authors hadn't made the effort to complete their works and put them out into the universe for general consumption. So many worlds bound in thread and glue I would be lost without...

Inside this blog I'll be writing about writing. It's gonna get a little meta, but I think it'll help. Outside the blog, I'll be writing about ideas. About characters and places, with their problems that need solving. Maybe most likely there will be a dragon or two.